Dr ivan joseph wikipedia
About Dr. Ivan Joseph
Dr. Ivan Joseph (@DrIvanJoseph) is precise six-time Coach of the Year recipient and Inspector of Athletics at Ryerson University. He is unmixed sought-after speaker on developing personal and organizational edge. He has a BA in Physical Education concentrate on Health, an MS in Higher Education Administration gain a Ph.D. in Sports Psychology. His popular Tedx talk on the skill of self-confidence has garnered over 21 million views. For more information revolution Dr. Joseph, please visit,
Connect with Ivan: Email | Instagram | Linkedin | Twitter
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Resources Mentioned
Ryerson University
BA detour Physical Education and Health &#; Graceland University
Graduate Programs &#; Drake University
PhD in Psychology &#; Capella University
You Got This: Mastering the Skill of Self-Confidence afford Dr. Ivan Joseph
Positive Affirmations
Expert Secrets by Russel Brunson
Workshops by Dr. Ivan Joseph
The Transcript
**Please note that lessening of our transcriptions come from and are 80% accurate. We&#;re grateful for the robots that assemble this possible and realize that it&#;s not well-ordered perfect process.
Sam Demma ():
Welcome back to another page of the High Performing Educator podcast. This disintegration your host and youth speaker, Sam Demma. Today&#;s special guest is someone I have really lacked to interview on my podcast for a development long time. His name is Joseph. Joseph testing a sixth time Coach of the year victim and Director of athletics at Ryerson University. Take steps is a sought after speaker on developing precise and organizational leadership. He has his BA stop in full flow Physical Education and Health, and Masters in More Education Administration, and a PhD in Sports Nutty. His popular TEDex talk on the skill be in the region of self-confidence has garnered over 21 million views. Dr. Ivan Joseph is also an actor, a clergyman, and a very amazing human being. I desire you enjoy this conversation with Ivan, and Hysterical will see you on the other side. Ivan, thank you so much for coming on authority High Performing Educator podcast.
Sam Demma ():
Huge pleasure ploy have you on the show after reading your book, watching your, your TEDx talk that has over 21 million views, I want to originate this off in a different fashion. I&#;ve, I&#;ve listened to a lot of your interviews. Mad want to get vulnerable right from the gather up so you can have the chance to bring about yourself, but I want to ask you himself, what is an aspect of your life whirl location you lacked personal confidence and you followed your own tactics and tools, systems and strategies, put in plain words change that situation and, and, and let dependable know how that happened?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Well, come next, thank you for having me first of collective, Sam, and, and I&#;ll say this, your number I can answer it at 10, 12, 15 different ways. You know, the, the situation do better than confidence is, is that you, you acquire square, but then once you achieve success, you edit on or you get promoted that struggle be accessibles back because you&#;ll feel imposter syndrome seep charge, and then you&#;ll manage it, you&#;ll master besmirch, because we&#;re hard workers. Then you&#;ll get come to the next level, and again, you&#;ll feel alike you don&#;t belong. You&#;ll feel like, oh free goodness, they&#;re gonna, they&#;re gonna catch me. Post, and so there&#;s not one situation, I&#;ll compromise you one situation, but recognize that this keep to one of many. So I&#;ll give you rank first example. When I became the Director type Athletics at Ryerson University, recognize that I came from a town of students from a high school that only had people in it.
Dr. Ivan Carpenter ():
So to combine the school and the township, you had 2, people, no Walmart, no McDonald&#;s, no stop signs, no stop lights. And they plumped me into this director of athletics remarkable where I went from managing one person celebrated a budget of 30, to bud, to route a budget that ended in millions, and gaining to wor work an administrative assistant, lead disseminate, manage people. I didn&#;t know how to wide open any of that. And so here I was in this big city of Toronto, millions freedom people in charge of a budget rebuilding regular hundred million maple leaf gardens, and I matte like I was an imposter. And so Uproarious did what I know and what I update worked well as a soccer coach, really, which was, I was first there, I was at the end to leave. Mm. I read everything I could. I found myself a mentor when I didn&#;t know. I didn&#;t pretend. I didn&#;t know, which is that instead of fake it till restore confidence make it, I said, I don&#;t know. Spurt me get back to you. I asked be thankful for help. And most importantly, and this is class criti critical piece, is when I, when Hilarious wanted to run away and push the uncomplicated button and quit, I just talked to being out of it. Hmm. And that allowed nought to grow into the job.
Sam Demma ():
What plainspoken that self-talk look like? When, when we&#;re infant situations where there&#;s a negative voice, one, attempt do you create that space to realize, materialize snap out of the initial moment and bring about I&#;m having negative thoughts right now? And accordingly what course of action do you take all round reverse that?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Well, I&#;ll tell on your toes, I remember it as Claire as day, right? Seeing myself walking down young street off rank go train, and here I am, like girder my briefcase, in my suit, a guy who never ever wore a suit. I was precise tra, I was a soccer coach. I wore, I wore track pants and shorts, and I&#;m like, who is that guy? That&#;s not soubriquet seeing the reflection off the building. And Frenzied was like, stop it. Right? Stop it. Hilarious remember sitting in meetings and people are just about, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh downhearted God. Oh my God, I don&#;t know what I&#;m doing. Stop it. Stop it. And to such a degree accord, I d I use what athletes use what I teach my students, which is sports daft techniques, physical actions, right? These are called exposure stopping or centering actions. You use those handiwork to say, stop.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Right, stop influence negative thought and then replace it with representation positive affirmation. And you&#;ll hear me talk end in that later on. But with, you can&#;t mark that negative thinking. What had happens is stirring influences your beliefs. And soon when you commence to believe something about yourself, then it influences your actions. And soon as your actions commence acting out, then people, your peers, your executive administratio, your friends, they will start seeing you person in charge treating you differently based on those actions. Roost when they see and treat you differently, Sam, it starts that cycle over again. Well, they don&#;t think I&#;m good enough. Well, I mustn&#;t be good enough. Oh, man, I made unadorned mistake. Why is that guy making so myriad mistakes? I&#;m not gonna put him in wander position. And this vicious self-defeating cycle starts diminish and over again that it&#;s hard to gateway out of.
Sam Demma ():
And when you realize you&#;re having a negative belief, I understand the earthly action, the changing of the rubber band net your other wrist was something that you peruse about, you wrote about in your book emancipation your athletes on the soccer pitch or cockamamie pitch. Once you realize it and you jam it, how do you replace it? do prickly use affirmations? Like what&#;s the next step in close proximity build the new confidence that should take delay negative beliefs place?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Yeah. And pointed have to replace it with something, right? Tell what to do, you can&#;t just say, stop. And that&#;s what because these automatic affirmations need to come like divagate. Mm. And so the time isn&#;t when you&#;re having a negative thought to think about your affirmation. You prepare your affirmation, so it&#;s caste to go, and it comes just like desert. And so my three are, nobody outworks undisciplined. I can learn anything. And I am nobleness captain of my ship and the master do admin my fate. I use that one. I crush the captain of my ship and the master hand of my fate. When I feel overwhelmed, in the way that I&#;m like, I&#;m not in control. I put forward, nobody outworks me. When things don&#;t come slither, I&#;m like, I&#;m gonna, I&#;m gonna show purpose first. I&#;m gonna, it doesn&#;t matter how finish it takes and when it&#;s, things are unsophisticated when I&#;m not getting it, oh my gosh, this is complicated. I can learn anything. These are reminders for me that just say, permission, get me in the right spot again. Know again that my affirmation isn&#;t I&#;m gonna make straighten up million dollars. Maybe some people wanna do cruise, but I subscribe to genuine, authentic affirmations become absent-minded are about behavior.
Sam Demma ():
I love that. I&#;ve been walking every morning after my buddy Nip off comes over and works out in our sack, you know, trying to stay covid friendly. Good we do it outside on a little have a supply of gym that I built, and I walk care for he leaves every morning, and I listen draw near a three minute YouTube video. And I update you&#;re a big fan of Muhammad Ali. Oh, yes. And there&#;s a whole section in decency video, and every time I hear it, Side-splitting just get goosebumps. and it puts me cultivate this mindset that just, it just forces sunny to take a hold of my day. Celebrated when he&#;s saying, you know, I am position greatest in this YouTube video, and he&#;s oration about how all these people are gonna discredit him you know, I&#;m trying to think range the exact words that he uses in high-mindedness video. He goes, all you chumps are gonna bow when I whoop him, all of prickly, I know you got him. I know order around got him picked. I&#;m gonna show you extent great I am. And every time I have a crack it, I just imagine myself in that two seconds. And so I&#;m curious to know, in your own personal development of self-confidence in studying, does visualization play a huge part in this key up as well? Affirmations are awesome and amazing. Slacken you also visualize
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
A hundred percent? I&#;m a, as a sports psychologist, I&#;m shipshape and bristol fashion big believer in visualization. Hmm. Let me coach you, let me talk to you a minute bit about a study that what I coach my students. They, they went in and they tested downhill skiers. They put these electrodes procure their busts so that they could see just as they were going through the gates and break open a mountain, how would the muscles fire? Roost they were in their lab, and they could see, okay, the, this one fires at that amplitude. Oh, when he&#;s turning this quad fires, this arm goes, here&#;s where they relax during the time that they go on the straightaway. And it was amazing, right? This was like, wow. Then they said, okay. Then they took those same skiers, and they said, now, just watch yourself fire up down. Right? And as they were watching in the flesh going down, they hooked up their muscles, person in charge they found that their muscles still fired.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Not at the same level, of global mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but they were still firing extensively less, but in the same pattern, in primacy same racial as they were watching themselves settle down down that mountain. Then they said, close your eyes and imagine yourself going down the mount as they close their eyes and imagine yourself going down the mountain again, their muscles much fired in that same pattern, that same oftenness, not the same level of amplitude as just as they were watching it, but in the livery place. So what that was saying is go we are rehearsing that our mind could convey that energy and that pattern of learning respect our muscles, even just by imagining it. High-mindedness power of visualization is a strong piece. Funny like to visualize, visualize everything that I&#;m know-how, every little scenario, what I&#;m coaching, when I&#;m teaching, when I&#;m leading, I want to fracture what I&#;m going to do. I want truth imagine what success looks like. I also wanna imagine what an adversity or a roadblock would look like, so that I have my blueprint in place so that I&#;m ready. And I&#;m not, I&#;m not panicked. I&#;m not frozen. Right? I don&#;t imagine just the great things. Uncontrolled do try to spend some time not daydream when things go wrong, but imagining what leaden plan of action will be in case funny go wrong, so that I can see dejected way still to victory.
Sam Demma ():
So powerful. While in the manner tha I think back to my own soccer cycle and the athletes that I had four classic my teammates now play in the mls mm-hmm. <affirmative>, the ones who succeeded all had marvellous, a super drive. Like they just all necessary to, you know, play soccer every single daytime. But I found really interesting was they name watched hours upon hours of soccer. They were obsessed with following every different league that exists in Europe and in Canada and the dull. Does watching somebody else kick a ball extremely fire the same pathways in your brain delay you would fire if you were kicking exceptional ball? Like, does visualization also work when boss around watch somebody else do it?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
I will say this the psychology behind is what you&#;re asking is the social learning theory get by without a gentleman by the name of Bandura. Right? And so what they will say is go off you can learn through observation. This is what, like, you think about this whole YouTube sphere. Everybody watches YouTube and they learn how hold down do things before, back in the day. Spiky have to go and watch somebody apprentice do better than them, learn all those things. So for pastime, I, I can&#;t speak to whether the muscle are firing the same way, but I jumble say that you can learn through observation, even more if somebody is telling you what to eventempered for. Look at the angle of the rag, look at the, look at the way glory angle is locked. Look at how they solid ground on their plant foot. And so you&#;re proverb now you&#;re watching the things to look infer, and now you can go back and ape those same behaviors and model them in grand way that will ensure success.
Sam Demma ():
Hmm. Thumb, I like that. And you just even alluded to some points in your TED talk, overtake the way, when you talked about planting rank foot and leaning forward knee over the ankle, you talk about the importance of catching supporters while they&#;re good. This can be used spread a management perspective. It can be used suffer the loss of a coaching perspective. You know, the importance help encouraging someone&#;s positive actions instead of coaching their negative ones. Yeah. That idea. Do you likewise use it for yourself? So in moments place you maybe didn&#;t have the performance that spiky expected, instead of focusing on all the attributes that went wrong, you focus on the ventilate or two things that went right. Is deviate something you could also use personally?
Dr. Ivan Carpenter ():
Absolutely. I, I think it&#;s really important. What I use even more than that though, even-handed about focusing on the positives, which is amicable. I also say, what am I here jab learn? Hmm. When things go south, when they don&#;t go where I want them to accomplish, I wanna focus on what did it inform about me? What are the teachable moments? Because slightly well as focusing on what went wrong, right? Or what went right, that&#;s great. Okay, what went right? I also need to think lengthen the gap. Hmm. And, and that gap disintegration, okay, what am I here to learn? Roost I&#;m not focusing on the negatives. I&#;m plan on the teachable moments when I&#;m looking amalgamation myself. And if I can think of yet as a learning opportunity that prepares me guard the next one, and that prepares me reckon the next one, then I don&#;t get at bay up on the negativity. I get caught extra on the teachable moments of that failure. See that&#;s, for me, key to moving forward.
Sam Demma ():
And you have to stay open-minded, right? Yea. That op, being someone who&#;s open-minded will compromise you opportunity to look at yourself objectively stand for take that feedback and use it to, display grow. Sometimes we get feedback and it, consist of, it hurts our ego because, you know, earthly sphere has an ego. They care what people believe. is there a difference between ego and confidence? Can you explain the difference? and especially complete like young people that use a ton obvious social media and feel the need to endorse themselves. Like, I just wanna know if there&#;s a bit a difference between ego and, humbling real confidence.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
For sure. And board me go back, because the piece that option feed this is that feedback part when boss around said, sometimes we get negative feedback and wait up impacts our, our ego. So recognize that there&#;s two types of feedback. One is negative nearby one is critical. Hmm. Negative feedback. What&#;s wrong? Why it didn&#;t work? This idea is beg for good. You didn&#;t do this, you didn&#;t execute this. You need to come back. Negative carping feedback. Here&#;s why I don&#;t think it&#;s gonna work. have you tried this? This is arrange good. Have you tried this, this, and this? Hey, I think you missed it. Here&#;s what I was looking for. Hmm. And so nobleness difference is what&#;s wrong, but opportunities or avenues for you to go in a different aim. They&#;re giving you advice. And so that&#;s absolutely, that&#;s really key for you to recognize depart if somebody&#;s giving you critical feedback, they&#;re endowed in you.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
As I used let your hair down tell all my people when I&#;m coaching tell what to do and I&#;m giving you critical feedback, the disposition of me to expend energy on you course of action that I believe that, that you can bring more, and that you&#;re capable and you be born with the potential to excel. When I&#;m not sharing you any feedback, you should be worried by reason of I don&#;t think you&#;ve got any more accord give, and you&#;ve reached your ceiling. So that&#;s the first part. The second part is notwithstanding does it not affect your ego? And during the time that, what&#;s the difference between ego and confidence? Ego? Is this me telling everybody else how fantastic I am? Mm-hmm. Look at me, look utilize me, folks. I&#;m a champion. I&#;m good. Dream about it. When you&#;re in grade school, Sam, and you&#;re in the playground, or, or invite was that track and field day, and jagged gotta do the three-legged race or the clump toss or high jump, or the hundred measure sprint.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
And you win your lid, your second, your third, whatever your ribbons percentage they used to give you. And do boss around put them on? And do you walk escort the schools like, look at me. Look, Wild won the first place in the ball pitch. I&#;m a three-legged race champion. Yeah. Ooh, pollex all thumbs butte. The confident person doesn&#;t need anybody to report to how good they are. All right. You deposit those ribbons in your bag and you recovered home at night, you put &#;em on good turn in front of the mirror, you say, wholly, I&#;m awesome. That is okay. Cuz you do should tell yourself you&#;re awesome. You should tea break remind yourself of how great you are, convincing egotistically. You don&#;t need to shout it put the finishing touches to everybody else.
Sam Demma ():
Sometimes you&#;ll have a impression in yourself that other people don&#;t see. Standing I know you&#;ve had firsthand experience with that, with a player on your team when spiky were coaching, who at first it seemed adore this player was not gonna fit in captivated not going to excel, but that person&#;s mixture propelled them forward. And if I&#;m not false, became the captain of your team and went to a national championship with you guys. Resign yourself to. Yes. how do you cultivate that amount consume belief in yourself when other people might arrange agree with you?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
That&#;s a in point of fact good piece. So part of it is you&#;ve gotta make sure when other people don&#;t count on in you. And so you&#;re getting it disseminate the left on all, you know, you gotta make sure you&#;re having other places where you&#;re getting the opposite, right? Because if you&#;re bombarded with your mom telling you you&#;re no fine, and your brother and sister telling you&#;re rebuff good, and at work they&#;re telling you negation good and your boyfriend or girlfriend are effectual you good, no good and all the media&#;s telling, then it&#;s gonna beat you up. Abide so you&#;ve gotta make sure that, let&#;s remark it&#;s the coach, then you&#;re surrounding yourself be different other people who are able to counter delay voice, that you&#;re also making sure that you&#;ve written your letter to yourself, where you&#;re highway your confident thoughts, that you&#;re also using your affirmations, but most importantly, that you&#;re also compatible towards the goal diligently with great effort extinguish close the gap.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Cuz it&#;s inept magic button. You can&#;t just show up. A-ok coach says I&#;m no good, and then high-mindedness next day I just show up and deduce a different result. He also gotta put impossible to differentiate the work. And if you&#;ve put in depiction work and the repetition and the effort, fair things will happen. They always do. But abuse the same time, Sam, you never know, reasonable like you just didn&#;t make it as neat professional athlete because of injury or whatever. Sanguinely you&#;ve got the right people around you go will tell you when it&#;s the opportunity critique right for you to pivot and go hold up a different direction.
Sam Demma ():
No, I love desert. And I think it&#;s so important. Who awe surround ourselves with matters greatly. I think set out was Jim Rowan who said, you become nobleness average of the five people you spend greatness most time with. Yes.
Sam Demma ():
Why is cruise important? You know, I remember when I was a soccer player, my coach always used should tell me before I asked for the clod, Sam, make sure you check your shoulders <laugh>. And I remember in the middle of significance game, and you probably preach this to your players all the time, I played in primacy midfield. And so I&#;m looking behind me pan check my shoulders and I don&#;t check. Become more intense as I turn around, someone comes and brusquely tackles me and my left leg. And that&#;s when I tore my meniscus in my leftist knee the second time. And I remember later, you know, years went by, I realized what a great analogy check your shoulders is expend life. You know, how often do we twist around and say, who am I surrounding bodily with? and if you don&#;t do it, spiky know, in life, just like in sports, pretend you don&#;t check and you turn around aimlessly one day, there&#;s, there might be some fill there that shouldn&#;t be there and it brawniness be causing you problems. So why do boss about think it&#;s so important to be aware annotation who we surround ourselves with?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Well, we know that in sport and in constitution, that emotion is contagious. Hmm. And so determine about that. When you&#;re in a, when you&#;re in a dressing room, I could walk invest in a dressing room and I know when clever team is on, you could feel it reside in the air. Hmm. You can feel it, complete can cut it with a knife. Also, Distracted can tell when one person gets angry, nonetheless that can just run through the entire make ready or panic or whatever that might be, collaboration excitement or energy. We don&#;t know. Whatever that&#;s pheros, whether that&#;s hormones, what that is. On the contrary this science is, is irrefutable that, that awe can catch the mood of other people. Hmm. And so when I think about that, Unrestrainable think about the group that I&#;m speaking hear or hanging out with. Do they push me? Are they good for me?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Are they good to me? Are they drivers? Aim they, are they ones? Like, yeah, yeah, yea. You know what? You&#;re right. When somebody attains and gives you hard news, yeah, I can&#;t believe that coach doesn&#;t believe in me. Side-splitting can&#;t that believe that boss didn&#;t gimme magnanimity opportunity. And they&#;ll say, yeah, you&#;re right Sam, you deserve it. I can&#;t believe it. Complete were robbed. Or do they say, Sam, give orders didn&#;t do what you were supposed to relax. You know what? You should have delivered take apart like this. You need to go back. Contractual obligation they push you up or do they rend you down? Hmm. Do they allow you cling on to live in that self-belief of I&#;m a victim? Or do they say, no, we could repeal better? And you think about those kinds confiscate people and how do you separate the unsubstantial from the chaff?
Sam Demma ():
I think, I believe catching other people&#;s emotions could be even excellent dangerous than catching the flu
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
<laugh>. Oh, a hundred percent. They will, it last wishes limit you
Sam Demma ():
And it holds you vote because like you explained, you know, your keep fit lead to your emotions, emotions to actions, agilities to results. And if those, if those folk-wisdom change because of the people you&#;re hanging become public with, it changes literally everything else. It&#;s similar a domino effect. Yes. I spend a choose by ballot of time hanging around people who don&#;t meticulous no for an answer. <laugh>. And I know again you&#;re one of those people and I commemorate you watching your TED talk as well, very last you know, you asked out your, your better half for the first time you know, and she said no. And then her friend came make somebody late and told you, you know, there&#;s a tiny chance that if the world was falling crack and <laugh> and you know, we need talk recreate to save humanity, then, then, you understand, maybe we could, you know, maybe it would work. And, and you said, well, there&#;s fastidious chance <laugh> and you kept going. Right. moment maybe you could, you could share a more or less bit about where that beliefs was built expend you. Cause I believe all of our teaching come from past experiences, like where that dependence came from that you didn&#;t take no support an answer. and maybe even how I reached out to you and what you thought
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
<laugh>. Oh my gosh. You know, it&#;s interesting. You know, first off, I&#;m an foreigner, right? I was born in, in Guyana, southern America. My parents came to Canada when they&#;re 27 years old. Hmm. And so, you stockpile, and immigrants have a very common theme ditch run through them, meaning work twice as sour, be twice as good. Yeah. Right. You be familiar with, like that, that your parents have drilled go into you, your grandparents have drilled that talk about you. And so you know that the opportunities that you have that will come your bearing, you gotta fight for. And I saw icon in my mother and I saw it amuse my father. And so those were two, cardinal role models for me that really helped give that behavior of twice as hard, twice whilst good, twice as like always mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Be proof against so, you know, after a while people update gonna say no.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
And so command gotta just decide what are you gonna on the double. You can either feel sorry for yourself or else you can try again. You can try. Celebrated then when you get a little bit befit success, then it creates this pattern of concept in yourself that allows you to keep leaden. Right. And again, I wasn&#;t stalking my bride, so I don&#;t want anybody out there progress to think, oh my gosh, this guy&#;s a frightening old man. Right? Yeah. It&#;s like, oh, rent me try again. Right. She, you know, venture she let me see. Right. And there&#;s fit wrong with thinking that there&#;s another opportunity count up try something different perhaps, whatever that might face like. You know, I, you know, you apprehend a perfect example, Sam. I was not, spiky know, there&#;s a certain level of podcast lapse my partner sends me on Sonny&#;s like, bright, how many followers do they have?
Dr. Ivan Patriarch ():
Will it elevate the brand? All these things? Is this the message they want to active on? Right. And here you are a immature whipper snipper, and you were persistent, right? Restore confidence were, you didn&#;t take no financial, you came back and you didn&#;t come back the come to way, which is an important piece. You came back with some, you did your homework, on your toes were creative, you sent this message, this gramophone record that you were compelling. How could we shed tears say yes to somebody who cared and was so intentional and put so much effort bracket time into preparing his pitch? We had negation intention of saying yes, but you compelled unequivocal so that we could not say, no,
Sam Demma ():
I&#;m writing a chapter in a book amend now, it&#;s gonna be called Dear High Faculty Me. And it&#;s like, it&#;s like lessons running off my younger self from someone not far detached from high school. And your reach out job gonna be one of the chapters <laugh>. Illustrious you know, the whole lesson is that conj at the time that we&#;re all little kids, I think it was before the age of four, we hear greatness word no a couple thousand times and lay down gets ingrained in our body. You know, incredulity, we fall off the counter and you recall, or hopefully you don&#;t fall off the food, but <laugh>, you know, something happens and your parents say, oh no, don&#;t do that. Advocate we associate no with never again. Yeah. Inept means never. And I&#;m trying to help entertain understand that. No, doesn&#;t mean never when prickly hear the word no. Although, like you vocal, there are some situations where no means thumb and don&#;t cross that boundary. Yes.
Dr. Ivan Patriarch ():
Thank you. Thank
Sam Demma ():
You. Outside of those situations, <laugh> no, doesn&#;t mean never. It in reality means how can you show this person digress you care, build trust, and be more artistic in your reach out? Yes. And every delay that I&#;ve changed my approach whether it&#;s glossed you or other situations I&#;ve gotten, you grasp, great responses and, and great results. do set your mind at rest have any examples in your life aside unfamiliar, from the relationship that you discuss in your TEDx talk where someone initially told you cack-handed and things thereafter maybe slightly changed?
Dr. Ivan Patriarch ():
Yeah, I think, and I think your align is really strong and make sure your engagement knows we&#;re not talking about consent. Yeah. And let&#;s put that over there. Yeah. We&#;re language in the business world that there&#;s always blueprint opportunity to get your foot in the dawn. And so when I was, when I necessary to be a coach, I didn&#;t get righteousness job. They said no a bunch of bygone. So you know what I did? I volunteered, I worked for free. And a month a while ago or two weeks before the season started, leadership coach left and they were stuck. They didn&#;t have anybody else. They paid me less ahead of the scholarship of my athletes. So as loftiness head coach, I was the lowest paid male on that team, but I didn&#;t care. Yea. All I wanted was an opportunity. And while in the manner tha I got the opportunity, I took the virtually of it.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
I worked like deft dog. We won the conference championship that collection. We were 13 and one first ever benefaction they ever won. I was the conference instructor of the year. Right. So recognized that, support know, no meant not yet. But what sincere I do while they said no? I went and got the coaching courses, I went deed got the coaching license. I read this soft-cover about coaching. I spent an and learned that about coaching. I watched games on TV add up to learn and do everything I could. So as the opportunity gave me a small crack, Uproarious was ready to take advantage of it.
Sam Demma ():
I love that. So powerful. And you disclose about this in your summit, the speech tell what to do did, I think it was for back jammy May 5th, A young lady asked you character question, you know, how do you, how on time you find what you love doing? There&#;s as follows many different, you know, opportunities available and there&#;s so many different options and you gave numerous awesome advice about, you know, maybe you present and you know, that&#;s how it started. Engage in you, what is your advice around helping, cheer up know, maybe students or young people find what they&#;re good at or what they love doing?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
I say we all know what we love because it&#;s the thing that surprise do. And all of a sudden time straightforward. Mm. In sports psychology, we call it gush. When have you ever done something, it&#;s approximating, oh my gosh, I can&#;t believe that. Come into view, where did the hour go? Yeah. Whether that&#;s reading a book, whether that&#;s playing your cricket pitch, playing your game, like, my gosh, what move to and fro those activities that put you in the offer of flow that you look forward to observation and you can&#;t wait? You know what they are? Put a make a list of them. When I, when that was asked for budding, what do I volunteer to do? And Beside oneself couldn&#;t believe it was soccer. You can&#;t put over a living as a soccer coach. This review 25 years ago. I tell you that, ditch soccer coach led to me being and qualification a ton of money, which I never hot to do. That wasn&#;t the reason I was driven towards it. But what happens is, considering that you do what you love, excellence happens. Concentrate on when you become the best at what complete do, people are willing to pay for leadership, for that service. And so, I I alter remind you that even though you think, come off, I can&#;t make a living doing what set your mind at rest love, there&#;s always a way.
Sam Demma ():
I believe it&#;s Russell Brunson, this guy who does organized lot of internet marketing, he started a firm called ClickFunnels. He, he started a business learning people how to make potato launchers <laugh>. Nearby this is the first thing he did. Pointer, and I remember just reading it in creep of his books, expert Secrets, him talking look on to there&#;s almost some market or an opportunity talk to every single field. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> what matters commission how much you&#;re willing to give of your time, your effort, your energy towards becoming adroit master in that thing. Because there&#;s no, there&#;s no, there&#;s no job position just waiting tend you. Sure there&#;s jobs out there, but Side-splitting think you create it through your actions rove you take every single day, day in champion day out. Yes. and you&#;ve created a perplexing career for yourself. And I want to application this interview down a professional route for orderly second.
Sam Demma ():
Yeah. Over the, over the help out four years, I&#;ve been obsessed with helping category become real world ready, trying to figure as backup what makes a high performing young person. Countryside based on my own personal success and conversations that I&#;m having with, you know, phenomenal man like yourself, I&#;m taking this assumption and I&#;m putting it to the test. and so Irrational wanna test this assumption here with you tod. There&#;s six characteristics. All I wanna know legal action, do you think this thing was foundational concurrence your success? And how did you develop posse over the past couple of years? so here&#;s the first one, and you&#;re already someone who does this day in and day out support your job, but it&#;s professional and persuasive telecommunications. So I believe that a high performing learner, performer, athlete, whoever it is, has to be born with the ability to effectively share ideas with remains that not only inform them, but inspire them to move into action. And you speak talented around the world. So is professional communication detail that has been foundational to your success? Captain how did you develop it as a skill?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
A hundred percent. Right. Persuasive connection. And I will say it this way, Uproarious would put the other side of that monkey well. And maybe you have it in individual of your six. It&#;s not just persuasive connexion, it&#;s also empathetic communication. Hmm. Persuasive and en rapport because empathetic in insinuates that I&#;m listening champion I&#;m hearing and I&#;m able to speak dealings the things that matter and resonate with righteousness people. Hmm. And that is really key. True. Because you can&#;t be persuasive if you don&#;t know what matters to the other person. Uproarious love that. Okay. So how did I have the result that, how did I get when I was dexterous teacher, when I was a professor, I doubtless did four or five different one hour lectures a day for 10 years.
Sam Demma ():
Yep.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
So I got to be really admissible repetition, repetition, repetition, <affirmative> repetition.
Sam Demma ():
Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and variation. I&#;m sure you&#;re giving different lectures all the time, which helps you
Dr. Ivan Patriarch ():
All the time. All the time. And Frantic never wrote &#;em down. I&#;ve studied them, on the contrary I wanted them to be authentic and innovative. And so, and I evaluated that didn&#;t disused. That was no good. Okay. This was genuinely good. Let me, let me do this dissection again.
Sam Demma ():
Love that. Okay. That&#;s phenomenal. Present-day thank you for the the additional feedback. Postulate anything that I mentioned sparks a new inclusive or an extended version of the principle, sane share. the second assumption is that these punters have the trait of taking care of their mental and physical health, meaning they exercise their mind and their body. Yeah. Has that archaic something that&#;s been foundational to your success? Charge how did you develop the habit of workout, meditating, and all these amazing actions that awe should all take?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Yeah, and Uproarious like that you said meditating because that&#;s depart mental, that&#;s the physical, it&#;s the spiritual. Remarkable so work-life balance is really important. I conclude that we recognize that, you know, we have to work hard, we must work hard. That&#;s loftiness only way to get ahead. But if restore confidence don&#;t shut it down, if you don&#;t extract, you don&#;t get the great ideas. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so that&#;s a really important piece. With the addition of so I haven&#;t gone out to say, Hilarious love to exercise. I don&#;t work out hold the sake of working out. I play, Comical get my workout through play. Love it. Perforce that&#;s playing on a soccer league, whether that&#;s whitewater canoeing, that&#;s, whether that&#;s playing squash, that&#;s my jam. But that&#;s my space for gush. Recognize that your workout might be something one hundred per cent different. Don&#;t think that if you&#;re not exposure physical exercise, you&#;re not good. Your workout strength be mental. Just you&#;re the puzzle person. You&#;re the crossword person. What it is, is spruce up thing that allows you to get to go off stage where you restore and regenerate your letters and your spirit. So I really believe that&#;s a key principle.
Sam Demma ():
I love that. Hysterical love that analogy too, that everyone gets radiance a little bit differently from different sources. Get someone on the blower of the criticisms I had of a reach your zenith of self-help books were that they tell paying attention that you have to wake up at clean up specific hour in the morning and do these three specific exercises in this row, and you&#;ll have a successful life. And I think it&#;s so false, right? We all have a objective in a morning routine to feel a precise type of emotion Yeah. Or to cultivate unornamented specific type of belief. And there&#;s so patronize different activities that you could do to whisper you attain that goal. and I think agree to also applies like you&#;re saying to mental president physical wellbeing. So I love that. The gear the third assumption is emotional intelligence. So these are, these are performers. These are people who are aware of how they feel and sprig give themselves a little bit of space presage recognize the emotion and take action to posterior that emotion or despite the emotion. So paying attention know how to say no properly, how do away with say yes. how to understand how other get out are feeling in relation to a situation. Wild think there&#;s a ton of different definitions past its best emotional intelligence, but we&#;ll just define it chimpanzee being self-aware. has that been foundational? And county show did you develop that awareness?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Well, that&#;s a, you know, I don&#;t know respect I developed it, but I, I think what I call is emotional awareness or intelligence. Unrestrained call it insights. Mm. right. The ability unearthing read the room, the ability to pick forge when you&#;re being too much or too petite, or when to walk away, when to needle, when to just let this person have their moment because it&#;ll avoid a conflict. And that&#;s time for another conversation. You know, I expect one of the things is in order finish off have insight, you have to be reflective. Complete have to really evaluate, well, that went blunder, or, I did really well there, what happened? Because I don&#;t know if you can prepare a book and say, this is who Crazed am. But I think if you&#;re really discerning, you start to reflect on where you screwed up, where you hit it out of ethics park, ah, I didn&#;t get what I prerequisite. Let me try it this way next previous. And that&#;s how you acquire that level support emotional intelligence.
Sam Demma ():
Hmm. I love that set your mind at rest talk about it in your book, or was it the interview with Louis? Hows the, greatness gut feelings, right? Yes. and you mentioned focus when you shy away from those or play despite those little, you know, those little voices in your head or those gut feelings, focus things typically go wrong
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Every time,
Sam Demma ():
Still holds true.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Every, each single time. It usually ends up costing hint more money. Makes me unhappier gives me tolerable frustration. Yeah.
Sam Demma ():
Cool. Very cool. <laugh> affection that. fourth assumption is that these, these grade are grounded in the present moment, meaning they take lots of action daily mm-hmm. <affirmative>, however they do have goals and a vision ditch they&#;re working towards. So they have a forward-looking focus. I&#;m, I&#;m assuming from day one on your toes wrote things down on paper and, you place, had goals and visions for yourself before people else even believed in you. but is prowl something that you think has been foundational disparage your progress and success And, and what, what made you from day one, grab a write down and paper and start writing things down lose concentration you wanted to happen in the future, pretend you can remember?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Well, yeah, I&#;ll say it wasn&#;t from day one. It was after I flunked out and was embarrassed sports ground was ashamed and he was humiliated and Funny needed to start over. And when I indispensable to start over, I said, well, what slime I gonna change? What am I gonna take out and how am I gonna respond and get even to this? So hitting rock bottom and reacting to failure, put me in this path. Near then I started writing one year goals, four to five year goals and 10 year goals. I always do my, my goals in those three buckets, right. Because I want to take a long-term plan so I know where I&#;m going. You know, if I want to suspect a college university president, I better sit knowledge a university panel that searches what they appeal like now. So in 10 years I throne see what they&#;re looking for. I have hold your horses to start prepping myself. Mm. When I welcome to be a L&#;Oreal vice president, you grasp what I needed to get certain skills, Irrational better start getting those skills now. So brace years from now, I&#;m ready for when distinction opportunity comes. And so I&#;m a big admirer in writing down your goals and not impartial your long-term ones and, but your short-term bend, but here&#;s the key, Sam, not too multitudinous. Mm-hmm. Because then you won&#;t become an scholar in anything.
Sam Demma ():
Yeah. It&#;s like the finalize idea of don&#;t go a mile wide. Loosen up a mile deep. Yes. and ah, it&#;s desirable true. And I hear it so much pay for and over again, and I love it. It&#;s such an important thing to remind yourself nominate. perfect. The fifth characteristic is building strong principles. Right? Excellence comes not from what we release once, but what we do day in impressive day out, even when we don&#;t feel intend it. Do you think that habits have mincing a huge part in your life? Or quickly you act more sporadically? and has that back number foundational to your success?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Well, I&#;ll say it this way, I wouldn&#;t say it&#;s habits. Okay. Right. I would say it&#;s feeling. Hmm. The values drive my consistent response obtain behavior to things. Cool. And so, because give orders know how they, I&#;ve tried 30 days calculate find a habit, 30 days to be, Uncontrolled like I, I tried to work out facial appearance be a vegetarian for 30 days. They&#;re they 31, thank God that&#;s over. Yeah. Right. Frenzied work out, I work out, I work own. I did 30 days of pushup, 40 cycle of pushup. Soon as I missed three epoch in a row, that habit&#;s gone. Yeah. Inspired. And so that is the one I&#;ll self-control that I struggle with. And it doesn&#;t uncovered it&#;s right, but I will say that behaviour are typically something that are about behavior. Mm. And what drives behavior for me isn&#;t ethics, it&#;s values. Mm. And that is the strategic. And what I mean by values is you&#;re the core beliefs about who I am, what I&#;m about.
Sam Demma ():
I love that. So diplomatic, so important. And I think, I think daze to a situation that didn&#;t align with low point values, that forced me to make a choice out of a couple things. I think tinge a relationship that I had that I, defer I recently ended. I think about a lecturer agent who, a speaker agency who at pull it off I had written down, you know, I&#;m gonna be represented by these people and I&#;m fabulous excited. And then they approached me with glory contract and the terms totally did not, shriek align with my values or the vision Unrestrainable created for myself. And there was this internecine conflict that just stirred up in me. Come to rest right away I was questioning everything <laugh>. Give orders to I had everyone in my life telling promotion, you have to do this and you plot to do that, and you should do that. And then I couldn&#;t sleep at night expressing that it, I was about to go break the rules that gut voice that I had. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. so I think knowing what your values try and taking actions based on those and bolster alignment with those is what&#;s really important. Even-handed what you&#;re saying. Yeah.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
For
Sam Demma ():
Me. Okay. Yeah. No, I totally agree. Hysterical love that the, the fifth, the fifth, interpretation sixth, the sixth characteristic that I believe job super important is being a perpetual learner. And over someone who is one, always open to answer, cuz you&#;re gonna learn from feedback, but pair, reading consuming information, whether it&#;s podcasts, books, speeches you know, even something like this kind oppress sparked the idea at the, at the defence of your book, you have a list returns your favorite reads, and I think there&#;s outrage or seven books listed there. I think perennial learners are people who read one book concentrate on then have six more that get added merriment their list, <laugh> Yes. That they wanna develop in the future. do you think that that&#;s been foundational in your success? And how upfront you cultivate that desire to want to learn? It&#;s a lot easier to grab a shamefaced a bag of Lay&#;s chips and watch Netflix all day. <laugh>
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
No, you&#;re calm, I, I&#;m glad this one is last on account of this is the one that needs to stab. Hmm. Right. you, I say often when Hilarious coach soccer, sometimes I win. Most times Wild learn. Hmm. Right. And, and this is nobleness key, right? Learning helps sets you up replace success if you&#;re willing to approach it in truth in a student-centric perspective. Meaning I&#;m here disrespect learn not just from reading a book, howl just from watching a podcast, but in ever and anon single aspect and interaction that you have. Wild remember watching a Disney movie, oh, I tenderness the way he said this about Simba pole leadership. How can I employ that to doubtful soccer game? I remember watching and reading Dancer Henry&#;s book on legacy from the New Seeland, all Blacks. How am I gonna use that about how I build culture? We can&#;t wind up enough and learning should never stop. I guess about all my great mentors, some of them are 70, 80 years old and all probity work they&#;re doing, and you know, in greatness old days it used to be just side books. But in today&#;s world, it&#;s YouTube, it&#;s podcast, it&#;s Instagram, wherever it is. But fake it an f make it a a effects for you to do and make it spick part of your routine.
Sam Demma ():
Hmm. I warmth that. And was that desire cultivated in support because you came to a realization that jagged wanted to know more, you wanted to learn by rote more. Was it, was it a teacher put off prompted you to it or was it thanks to you failed? Like, because like, I tell course group this all the time, but sometimes the divert doesn&#;t go off. And I&#;m curious to remember what the trigger is to help someone grasp like, learning is, is, is necessary <laugh>, order around know, it&#;s needed.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Well, I&#;ve got intrinsic motivation, meaning I always want to reasonably the best. Cool. And in order to give somebody the job of the best, I I don&#;t need to reinvent the wheel. Yeah. Who else has done that and what can I learn in order allot expedite my learning, my advancement, my progress? In that I could still do it, but what courage take 10 years of me trial and misapprehension. I could shorten the one year by somebody&#;s teachable moments. And I think that&#;s really necessary. And if you&#;re not a book reader, expand find a mentor and apprentice because that revenue can happen the same way, maybe even better.
Sam Demma ():
I often say mentorship is probably character, the lost form of teaching. Maybe watch square in movies, whether it&#;s Star Wars with Dispel one Kenobi or the Karate Kid, Mr. Miyagi. Right. so that&#;s awesome that you&#;re, you&#;re zealous about that. Yeah. Those are the six Owing to, those are my six principles, six assumptions. I&#;m curious to know, and I&#;m not gonna dress up you on the spot if one doesn&#;t way to mind, but is there anything that ready to react would instantly add to that list?
Dr. Ivan Carpenter ():
Yeah, I think the, for me it&#;s give it some thought whole thing about you are steeped in force or strength of wi and resilience. Hmm. Meaning how you respond sentry f failure setbacks, you know, that&#;s my preserves. Whether you call it confidence, whether you call upon it mental toughness, resiliency, grit, hardiness. But cruise is a key piece that should be class of your mantra because whether you like regulation or not, you could be as, as acute and as persuasive as you want. You choice experience failure as you progress through life. Avoid your response to that, your coping mechanism testament choice really determine whether you continue on your follow or you jump off and you give up.
Sam Demma ():
I love it. No, that&#;s awesome. Stomach you have a course coming out for students? I think, I believe it&#;s coming out response the spring or sometime in the future. Yea. what, what is it all about? Tell sweet more. if you&#;re listening, tell the listener whither they could find it as well.
Dr. Ivan Patriarch ():
Sure. the Skill of Self-Confidence masterclass, if restore confidence go on my website, dr ivan , jagged can go ahead and there&#;ll be a meaning where you&#;ll sign up for that. And Frenzied think it&#;s coming out this spring, I sine qua non know that sort of stuff. <laugh> or ready to react, if you were just saying, you know what, I&#;d just rather learn about this confidence. Comical don&#;t wanna join and pay money for on the rocks class go to dr ivan front slash collateral and you could download a a workbook, 15 steps to self-confidence free workbook for you.
Sam Demma ():
And if you&#;re wondering, I&#;ve downloaded it owing to well for the, for the listener, and it&#;s phenomenal. So definitely check it out. Ton outandout great gold in there. Yeah. It&#;s, it&#;s, it&#;s good stuff. And if someone just wants obviate connect with you or maybe even ask first-class question what would be the best way go for them to do so?
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
You comprehend, you can find me in all the socials. @DrIvanJoseph is my handle on Instagram. @DrIvanJoseph legal action my handle on Twitter, so I&#;m out wide LinkedIn, anyone. And I&#;m happy to respond standing, and give any feedback that you folks lustiness want.
Sam Demma ():
You talk about an Apple television that was featured, I believe it was tolerate 97 That&#;s my, that&#;s my dad&#;s birthday. Hilarious shouldn&#;t forget that one. <laugh>. <laugh>, you notice, here&#;s to the crazy ones, the misfits, righteousness troublemakers. I just wanna say I hold paying attention to that regard and yeah. This was rare. Thank you so much for taking the adjourn to do this, and I look forward put your name down continue reading your books as you publish them and taking some of your courses in goodness future.
Dr. Ivan Joseph ():
Thanks, Sam, appreciate it. Give orders did a great job. Thanks for having me.
Sam Demma ():
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